A Methuselah by Any Other Name Is Still a Vampire
I’m watching Castle on Hulu right now. (Hurray for Captain Tightpants!) If you’ve watched much Hulu, then you know the ads tend to run toward out-dated, poorly produced PSA’s. There’s one with a man-pig to teach us all to save our pennies. Ugh. I sort of want to go out and blow all my money just to spite that creature. Well, tonight’s commercial was a new one. It started with geeks of the past, like Marie Curie, moved on to geeks of the present, like Bill Gates, and ended with geeks of the future. I didn’t recognize the future geeks because their greatness is yet to come, but they did all look appropriately geeky with a slightly frazzled, overworked vibe.
The ad ended with a reference to something called the Mprize and suggested a visit to their website. Since these guys chose not to use a creepy man-pig to get their point across, I popped open my handy dandy netbook (Ah, I do miss Blue’s Clues) and headed over to http://www.mprize.org/. Do you know the first thing I noticed? Not the rows of test tubes, or the picture of Albert Einstein and other assorted geeks, but the name of the group that is sponsoring the Mprize. It’s called the Methuselah Foundation, and as anyone who has ever played Vampire: The Masquerade knows, the Methuselahs are super powerful, manipulative vampires who are best avoided. Who the heck picked that name?!
I read up on the Mprize and found out that it’s a big chunk of change that will be awarded to ubergeeks who can prove their mouse has lived longer than any other mouse on the planet. It seems to involve messing with genetics to help humans live longer. Great idea. Definitely reward worthy. Still, the whole vampire thing makes me suspicous. What could they be planning? The methuselahs have plans within plans within plans… So, here’s my own personal PSA for those of you looking to start a fancy, shmancy foundation with a big prize for some insanely difficult task.
Do your reserach before you pick a name. Thoroughly. Otherwise, you run the risk of naming your group after a bunch of ancient vampires whose sole goal is to rule the human race, treating us like cattle who are here only for their amusement and perhaps a light snack. Unless, of course, you really are running a corporation for a secret society of actual vampires whose real interest is not our longevity, but mastery of our genetics so they can make us more susceptible to their influence and fill the world with mindless slaves to do their bidding. In which case, I should be running and hiding right about now…..