Must-See Cheesetastic Cop Movies
Yesterday I discovered that one of my favorite Geek Girls has never seen Demolition Man. It came about completely by accident when I said “..murder, death, kill.”. She was clueless and I was horrified. Three seashells? Taco Bell? Nothing. I spent a ridiculous amount of time convincing her that she absolutely had to watch it with an eye of appreciation for the cheese factor. High-brown, intellectual film-making at it’s finest, this is not. Ridiculously fun, full of one liners, innuendo and lots of big guns, yes, this fits that bill perfectly. It got me thinking about the best over-the-top, cheesetastic cop movies that every Geek should see.
Obviously, Demolition Man is on my list. It has Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes (with the most ridiculous hair) trying to kill each other. There are lots of guns. And explosions. And an adorable Sandra Bullock trying to keep up with it all. This movie came out back in 1993 and I wonder if it seemed as cheesy then as it does now, but either way, for the one liners alone this movie is worth watching. If someone references the three seashells you must know what they’re talking about or risk certain ridicule. Not that you’ll ever know how the seashells actually work. It doesn’t matter. You must at least appreciate their mystery and the only way to do this is to grab a bowl of popcorn and sit back for the cheesetastic ride.
Also on my list, RoboCop, the half human, half cyborg crime fighter. In his quest to rid the city of evil he shoots stuff. The term “hail of bullets” was custom made for this movie. It also has one of the nastiest death scenes ever in which a baddie falls into a vat of toxic goo, emerges all melty-faced and then gets hit by a car and explodes. Also, RoboCop has an outfit that is a cosplayer’s dream. You need to know who he is in case he stomps by you at a convention. Lastly, a real oldie but goodie, Runaway, with Tom Selleck as a cop who captures bad robots. You’ll never watch BattleBots in quite the same way after you see this one and best of all, Gene Simmons plays a deliciously evil baddie. There are also killer spider bots that shoot acid. Yup, it’s awesome.
Block out some time to enjoy these movies in all their cheesetastic glory and if I left off your favorite just let me know in the comments. I’m always up for a little cheese.