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What I’ve Learned From Star Wars: The Old Republic

I never played an MMO before Star Wars: The Old Republic. It wasn’t that I had some kind of aversion to them, but that I never found one that I like enough to keep playing after a month. But, this one was Star Wars and I love Star Wars so I had to give it a try. It’s been four months of killing Sith and saving the galaxy and I’ve learned a few things along the way.

First, protocol droids should all be shot on sight. Now, I can’t actually do this because so far the droids have all been on my side and I’m a Jedi Knight so slashing droids in half for no reason might be considered breaking my oath to the order. Still, they ought to be shot. Mine does nothing but insult me for eating too much, and then replaces the cushions on my ship for no reason. And I haven’t gotten past his failure to gain affection points at the start of the game. Kill. Them. All.

Behold! The Star Wars TARDIS

Second, The Doctor has traveled through time and space to lend a hand to the Jedi. No, I haven’t been hitting the Corellian Ale a bit too hard. I was on Nal Hutta and found this TARDIS-like structure. For crying out loud it even has a little light on top. Clearly, The Doctor has been to a galaxy far, far away and has had a hand in everything that’s happened. It would also explain why Ewoks can defeat Stormtroopers. A little help from The Doctor and even furballs become deadly.

Third, Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin did the galaxy a favor when they blew up Alderaan. After spending some time there dealing with the squabbling houses who fight to rule the planet, I found myself wishing they’d blown the place up years ago. Really, they are some of the most annoying, pretentious people you could ever meet. They’ve got weapons emplacements everywhere and are constantly trying to blow each other up. Sure, it’s been a few thousand years, but I suspect Vader and Tarkin were on to something.

Lastly, Jedi can’t dance. I’ve tried to bust a move in several cantinas and I really just end up looking like a goofball. I’ve seen Smugglers break out the same moves in their rugged looking jackets and low-slung holsters and they look cool. Not so for the Jedi. It just doesn’t work with the cloak and lightsaber. I even tried throwing back a couple of drinks and nope, my Jedi still dances with all the grace of a Gamorrean.

These are just a few of the things I’ve learned playing Star Wars: The Old Republic over the last four months. Give me another four and I’m sure I’ll have more to add to the list. Now, off to save the galaxy!


3 Responses to “What I’ve Learned From Star Wars: The Old Republic

  1. jessirree says:

    "No! Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons, you can't possibly… " – I call BS!

  2. No see, this is 1000 years before then. Obviously they had gotten tired of shooting at each other and at some point made peace. Then the Death Star comes along and BOOM!
    Lesson: Peace is only okay if you can stop the Death Star from blowing your planet up! 😉

  3. jaklumen says:

    "First, protocol droids should all be shot on sight."

    Although I have yet to get a d20 Star Wars RPG going, I already have a house rule that generally forbids players from playing droids. What you've described further cements my conviction that players will abuse droids if they can and therefore they must remain strictly NPCs (if gamemasters even use them much at all to begin with).

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