Total Fan Girl

Geek, Cars, and Gadgets

Why I Might Skip ‘Ant-Man’

There’s no denying that I am a big fan of superhero movies. I go to see every one, even if the property is new to me. Guardians of the Galaxy was a complete unknown when I stepped into the theater and it is now one of my favorite movies. I’m game for anything superhero, comic book, or sci-fi that hits the movie screen, but I may be in trouble with Ant-Man.

He’s mostly an unknown for me, other than a few bits I gleaned watching The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. I liked seeing him on television, but that was an animated series. Taking Ant-Man and making him live-action means live-action ants and that might be a step too far.
I say live-action but it’s more like CGI. It doesn’t matter. The preview before Avengers: Age of Ultron, a movie I loved and hated, was all I need to see. These aren’t cute little animated ants. These are realistic creepy crawly ants and they’re my least favorite insect. I hate ants. Hate. Hate. Hate.
The first reason I hate ants is an old movie called Them! which came out in 1954. I saw it years later on a  Saturday afternoon. My Dad loved watching Creature Double Feature every weekend so every weekend I was treated to another cheesy, old-school horror movie. They may have been cheesy, but 7-year-old me was terrified by more than one of these classics.
The ants were huge and they were killing everyone with pincers that looked like they belonged on woolly mammoths. They terrorized some city with tunnels that the US Army followed them into in order to save some kids. The kids were saved, but the ants skewered one soldier and it was the scariest thing I had ever seen. That was the first strike against ants.
The second strike came a few years later when my parents put an addition on our house. The construction workers knocked out the old window in my bedroom and there were millions of ants. They were everywhere and even though the ants were vanquished, a few got away and one or two ended up in my bed that night.
I have never scared my poor Father so badly as I did when I started screaming my head off because those few rogue survivors attacked me. He honestly thought some mass murderer was in my room trying to kill me. I’m telling you those buggers were out for blood after we killed their brethren. That was strike two against ants and that’s all they get.
Now there’s a whole movie about a guy who controls ants. I know he’s a good guy, but ants. Creepy crawly beasts that mutant into giant monsters and attack you in the middle of the night. Watching the trailer, I hid my my eyes.
I want to see it because I like the whole superhero thing, but I’m feeling a little bit like Indiana Jones. Ants? Why’d it have to be ants?

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