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Why Avoiding Star Wars at Disney World is Impossible

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This weekend we planned an escape to Walt Disney World in Florida. This isn’t a full-blown vacation, just a long weekend to get away from things and have some fun. It is warm and sunny and wonderful, but I am finding one thing to be an unexpected challenge. There is Star Wars everywhere and I don’t want to see any of it, yet!

I am stupidly excited for the new Star Wars movie. Watching the trailer, I nearly cried. It looks like it’s going to be incredible and I cannot wait to see the whole thing on the big screen. The key part of that sentence is “big screen” because I don’t want to know any more than I already know when I walk into that movie theater in December.

It was impossible for me to resist watching the trailer only because it was my first real taste of what J.J. Abrams was going to do with my beloved Star Wars universe. I had to know if I should brace for Jar Jar again. The trailer looked amazing with no Jar Jar-style characters and I bought into his vision hook, line, and sinker. The trailer was enough. I don’t want any more anything until it’s in theaters.

I don’t want to know all the characters. I don’t want to know good guys, bad guys, or droids. I don’t want to hear the lines I’ll be quoting for the next ten years before they film has even debuted. I don’t want to see anymore lightsaber hilt antics or cooler than cool stormtroopers or even the Millennium Falcon. No. I want none of it until December 18th.

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The problem with being in Walt Disney World right now is that the Mouse owns Star Wars and it is everywhere. I bought this cool glow-in-the-dark pin two minutes after I arrived. There are also cube-shaped balloons with characters I refuse to learn more about and shirts and lightsabers and action figures and helmets and books and videos and, and, I don’t want to know.

I truly want to be awed and surprised in the theaters rather than recognizing everything. Disney has other plans. I haven’t even gone to Hollywood Studios for the Star Wars ride because I’m worried there will be more stuff there that I don’t want to know.

And then there was this.

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Walking through the Magic Kingdom, I saw a patch of cement around a hole where they pop in stanchions when the lines get long. It looks just like the Millennium Falcon. I know I’m not the only one that sees this because, come on, it’s almost perfect. I am telling you it’s everywhere and they are doing this on purpose.

So, with a few days left to my weekend, I have yet to decide if I’ll head over to Star Wars central or if I’ll have to forgo Hollywood Studios until after the movie release. They’re making it awfully difficult, but I am going to avoid learning more about this movie, Disney be damned!

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